Three pieces of advice when going to the toilet

Outdoor squat toilet

A travel blog isn't complete without at least one post on toilet etiquette in your newly- travelled country. In Kyrgyzstan, nine times out of ten you will be using a squat toilet, unless you're in a restaurant catering to foreigners.

The problem with the squat toilet is that aim is soooo essential, and us chicks from the west have just never needed to acquire that skill. Never again will I judge a guy for missing his target. It ain't easy! 

The polite thing is, of course, to clean up if you miss your mark, which brings me to my next point. Never, ever, ever touch the floor or place anything on the floor of a squat toilet. In fact, I wouldn't even touch the walls. Who knows how bad some people aim?

This isn't restricted to number ones only. Some people miss with number twos as well! So when in that cubicle just keep your hands to yourself and away from the walls and floor.

Second piece of advice: that little bin next to the toilet roll (in the unlikely case there is toilet paper) is for your used toilet paper. Don't throw it down the toilet! The number of times I've gone to use the toilet only to find it blocked with toilet paper is aggravating. Putting your toilet paper in a bin is not as disgusting as I'd imagined it was going to be. Most people dispose the dirty side face down. Thank goodness!

Third piece of advice: make sure you always carry toilet paper, for three reasons. First reason: public toilets in Kyrgyzstan are  virtually nonexistent and you never know when you are going to need to ask a taxi or mashrutka driver to pull over so you can utilise the bushes. Second reason: even in restaurants or hotels, there is no guarantee the toilet will be stocked. Fifty per cent of the time there will be no toilet paper. It's like a government conspiracy. Or maybe aliens come and take it when you're not looking. I don't know,  but it's never there when you need it. And the third reason: when there is toilet paper, it's usually of the sandpaper variety.

Notice the toilet paper on the right compared to my purchased roll on the left. When you get the runs (which is frequent in Kyrgyzstan) I know which type I want to be using. It's still not great, but to get western toilet paper you have to buy eight rolls and it's expensive.

There are all types of toilet paper, but the best we've seen so far is the evil bunny roll.

I'm not sure what a rabbit or the numbers 666 have to do with toilet paper but I've stopped trying to make sense of a lot of what I see here.